getting the boy to kiss you!!!!!

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Author	Topic: getting the boy to kiss you!!!!!
Alunah Full bitterslut status	posted 04-17-2001 03:45 PM Okay so this one mostly goes out to the guys, I need some advice..... girls your welcome too, please help! I have been seeing a friend from school, we have studied together, and finally went out last friday to a bar by my apartment and got tipsy and played some pool and talked. I had a great time! I really like this guy, and I am going to ask him out to dinner and stuff. How should I present my self to let him know I like him? What should I do? Besides flat out telling him cause I plan to do that to, but in the right manner, after I am sure he is truly interested as I am. I think he is, he had a good time too Friday, but I am really paranoid that he was just saying that. And though this hasn't come up yet, I want to be prepared....How do you let a guy know he should/can/you want him to, kiss you? I do not want to make the first move, I know how to do that, but I also know that due to my personality, it is prbably going to be hard for him to find the "right time" to kiss me. How should I help? Laters guys!! ------------------ Life is a roller coster, throw your hands up and screw the ride!
Shayne Full bitterslut status	posted 04-17-2001 06:27 PM First things first. Letting the guy know you like him isn't rocket science. Look him in the eyes a lot, be interested in what he's talking about, and joke with him a lot. The rules of flirting are pretty classic and universal, and most guys have at least a rudimentary set of instincts allowing them to pick up on this stuff. Find excuses to touch him - his hand, his knee, and just smile and let your eyes linger on his and I'm pretty sure he'll get the message before too long. About the kiss thing, I'm probably the wrong guy to answer that question since I almost always take way too long to figure out that a girl is okay with that. It's all about how you say goodbye, usually. When he's taking his leave of you, hold his gaze pretty firmly and invade his personal space a little, maybe just a little closer than a person would normally stand to say goodbye to another person. This has always been a pretty decent clue to me. Tilt your head a little, keep up that whole eye contact thing... like I said, I'm pretty dense about this one myself, but my girlfriend tried all of the above on me and it eventually got through, so an ordinary guy would probably figure it out way before that. Good luck... remember he's probably got all the same questions you do.
Alunah Full bitterslut status	posted 04-18-2001 07:51 AM Thanks Shayne, you were actually a lot of help. I am just really clueless about flirting and guys, I have totally lost my touch, I also tend to scare guys by my straighforwardness. I'll try all those things. It's kind of exciteing, we have been doing a lot of the joking stuff and I am trying to find reasons to touch him, but I am so shy about it, I feel like I must be groping him :> ) but I know I am not. So invasion of space, joke a lot, touch him gently.... I think I can do that! I am so giddy now! It's so exciting to like someone! he he he he! I get the giggles just thinking about it! Thanks so much Shayne! Any girls got a clue out there? ------------------ Life is a roller coster, throw your hands up and screw the ride!
Damini Full bitterslut status	posted 04-23-2001 05:09 AM I've never been a disciple of the head tilting and eye lash wiggling school of thought; it doesn't suit me and just comes across as mildly reminiscent of the wolf dolled up as Red Riding Hood's granny. However, just spend silly time with him, no purpose, no grand plan, no timetable, just chilling silly time, invite him out on things that can be ambigously construed as dates or just mates (its up to him to interpret it as friends only or nudge nudge wink wink, and people tend to believe what they want to believe so you can't go too far wrong). Find out about him, as in talk to him about him and not football, gossip or what to have for lunch. If you like him this much he'll most likely cotton on soon enough anyway. Dinner might be a bit much; it tends to put too much pressure on "Oh My, This Is A Date, How Is It Going?" and whilst thats fine when everything is established you guys might want to just hang out in flirt land for a while to see if it clicks and not put too much impetus on A Formal Date. As for kissing him, eek, its usually those goodbyes or goodnights that are clinchers, as you stand for a bit in awkward silence wondering what to do before you clash noses. Chill out on it; if its going to happen it will. Men can smell hormones usually
Alunah Full bitterslut status	posted 04-23-2001 06:44 AM Oh my god! Thanks girl! I am sooo bad at the whole act coy thing... I tried, it doesn't suit me either. We got to hang out again last week after class one night we went over to a bar and shot some pool and stuff, it was nice. So hopefully it'll keep up and grow! What you said about dinner was very true and I'll keep it in mind, it does put a lot of pressure on..... Thanks so Much! ------------------ Life is a roller coster, throw your hands up and screw the ride!
Wiser Woman Honorary bitterslut	posted 04-28-2001 09:10 AM So... has he kissed you yet? I have a similar sort of dilemma. only my friend has actually fessed up to his normal modis operandi, which is to show up, be available, let the woman know he likes her in various ways and wait for her to kiss him. however, i really am not up for going first, this time round. i'd like a little convincing. this is not to be confused with the coy thing. it's more like a, "i know i'm worth the effort" stance. you can be as flirty and fun as you want, and since you like him, you should let him know in whatever way feels right to you. but in some ways, guys have a market mentality about this. if they gotta chase you,( put some effort into it), you must be worth it. if it's too easy, hmmm... must not be worth having. and i'm guessing you are. put a big price tag on a piece of art and the world goes, wow what a great painting! it must be, 'cause look at the price. that is a crass way of saying it, but the more you respect yourself, and communicate that on all levels, the more a guy will follow suit, in all kinds of ways which will surprise you and are quite fun. so enjoy all the fun in between parts, including those oh so nice tickles we get from thinking about it, and when it's right, it'll just happen without you trying real hard. But above and beyond anything else, be who you really are!
Shayne Full bitterslut status	posted 04-28-2001 12:23 PM "...and when it's right, it'll just happen without you trying real hard." Nothing truer. That's when you KNOW it's right. All the intense buildup and mental tricks will seem like wasted effort because it'll happen so easily. But odds are you won't mind at all.
Terapin Full bitterslut status	posted 04-30-2001 10:31 PM Oy! Alunah, I wish you luck and as everyone else said, relax and just let it happen. I am no good at the whole first kiss business. My last two went something like this: 1. Romantic moonlit beach, standing at the edge of the surf with the guy I like with one blanket wrapped around both our shoulders. He leans in and says, "May I kiss you?" I look surprised and say, "Okay." [Yes, saying "Okay" rather loudly instead of just tilting your head up or murmering assent is a great way to kill a romantic moment] 2. Having gotten back from a long walk full of silly talk and general good fun with potential boyfriend (now current boyfriend), spend an hour sitting on couch in my dorm lobby (it's 3 a.m. on a weekday and nobody else is up). Silence descends. It gets a little awkward. I wonder, "is he going to kiss me? No, we didn't even hold hands for more than that brief minute and a half when we crossed the street..." Suddenly he leans in and kisses me. Surprised again, I didn't exactly kiss back. He told me later that the next 30 seconds was one of the most uncomfortable moments of his life because he wasn't sure if I was upset or agreeable...so he did it again just to be sure and that time I kissed him back. Good thing he had the nerve to do it twice!
Alunah Full bitterslut status	posted 05-01-2001 08:28 AM I'll keep you guys posted, but this one is weird for me. I know the guy is interested, but I think the problem is we are both kind of our own people. We both lead pretty busy lives. And time is kind of a strain, but College is almost out so hopefully that will change. I'll see him tonight, hopefully he'll come out with me and my friend. We are going to go watch Kenny Wayne Shepard. So Shayne, how can I convice him to come? He does Tai Quan Do after class at like 7:00 PM, I got to convice him to come to the Music Hall afterhis workout, to come hang out. Any coy little tricks I could try? A ------------------ Life is a roller coster, throw your hands up and screw the ride!

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