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 bitterchat
 What would you do?
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| Author | Topic: What would you do? |
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Reanna Honorary bitterslut |
posted 03-19-2001 08:29 AM
  
My boyfriend and I were together for almost a year until Friday night when we decided to take our separate roads. This has been the hardest two weeks of my life because I honestly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. What happened was we got in an tiff about him breaking plans, he hasn't always been the most perfect person when comes to keeping plans. Then the next thing I know is, we are breaking up because he is going to colloge soon,working a full time job and isn't really boyfriend material. I was absolutely devistated but I agreed that he definitley needed time to figure things out. Then he wasn't too sure weather or not that was what he wanted. Well to make a long story short he called me last night and we talked for about an hour. So he brings up the fact that he has made some really big mistakes the past few days and doesn't know how to take them back because things will never be the same. Its true but I think we both want eachother back but are just too stubborn to say sorry. He's my best friend, love of my life and I feel so empty without him. Should I bring up this fact or wait to see if he is just leading me around to see if I will follow? HELP!! |
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Shayne Full bitterslut status |
posted 03-19-2001 05:41 PM
Picking at old wounds isn't advisable, but something that's worse is picking at fresh wounds. Give it time. W A I T. He obviously had reasons for making the decision he did, and if he's changed his mind, fine, whatever, but he might just be having a panic reaction to the enormity of what he did - that's normal, and that's not often a genuine desire to take back what was done. Again: WAIT. If the feeling endures, then it's not such a bad idea to pursue it and see where it leads. But don't jump into anything that you just jumped out of (or were thrown out of). |
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cristal Full bitterslut status |
posted 03-20-2001 09:58 AM
I agree with Shayne. Trying to hurry a decision like this one can cause one to make bad decisions. But, I have to say, it seems like the decision is the best one for both of you. It also seems like all of this revolves around HIM. Why is that? Is it all about HIS school, HIS full-time job, and HIS needs? What about you? Aren't you going to school? Aren't you working? What are your needs? Do you want to get married now? Do you truly feel like it's time for you to find the love of your life? If he doesn't want to be anyone's boyfriend, but he still cares about you, then this could have been a very mature and responsible decision. You could remain close friends, and prevent any possible torture. Is he actually going away to school? If so, enter more torture. Imagine trying to rely on him when he doesn't even live near you. Distill everything, and you've got one thing: you cannot rely on him. Is that a good characteristic for the love of your life? It seems like he simply doesn't have time to provide the kind of attention you want. If he keeps breaking off plans with you, it's apparent that he has not placed you in the center of his life. This rarely happens with boys (or men) until they hit their 30s. Sometimes it happens sooner (like with Shayne?), but i think it's probably rare for young men. (Shayne is a bit different...he is a 37-year-old man in a 20-year-old's body!)_ Try to understand that you may be in a stage in your life where a boyfriend cannot be the "love of your life." Or even the center of your life. Try to aim higher! Be bolder with your goals. OK, i'll shut up now. |
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Shayne Full bitterslut status |
posted 03-20-2001 11:12 AM
Heh heh... you're too kind, Cristal. Actually I turned 21 in December, so I'm well on my way to honored elder status. ;-) I do appreciate the observation though. |
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Reanna Honorary bitterslut |
posted 03-23-2001 08:53 AM
Hey guys I really appreciate all the thought you had to listen to my crying. So here is what is happening. I went out on a date with this really cool guy the other night and he ended up kissing me. The next night we went out and I had to tell him that I was really uncomfortabe with the fact that he kissed me. Thank god he was understnding and willing to be just a friend. But during the whole date my ex was paging me. So I call him back after the date was over and he said he needed to see me. Well we decided that our decision was not what we wanted but it pointed out some things that we needed to work on such as the " all about him ". But to my surprise he was the one to bring that up and appologize for thinking that way. Another thing we are working on is the fact that I am 19 and he is 21 and niether one of us need or want to be married at this point in our life. We still love eachother but we decided to take things a little slower and work on our friendship to help our relatioship. And maybe one day when I finish school and he does too things will be a little different. But I am trying not to look so far into the future anymore. Thanks everyone. |
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