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Alunah	I know I am going to get bashed here, but I kinda want to see if anyone understands..... Okay, my best friend is like my sister... she's my soul mate.... and I did something bad... carma's gonna catch me I am sure. I fooled around with her boyfriend! Now before anyone calls me a skank, let me explain. No guys ever fit in with me and my friend. Our boyfriends are not usually "part of the gang" they act like boyfriends, you know. Well, her boyfriend Chris, fits into us... he's not a third wheel, he's a third arm, we like him hanging with us! So anyway, this is the guy we have partied with a lot and had a ton of fun with. He's put us to bed and just been a great friend. There has been an attraction between me and him since she introduced us. They have been together almost a year now. Well, one night he comes and crawls into the spare bedroom with me and starts cuddling (just cuddling, no kissing or anything) with me... I didn't protest. Was that wrong!? So, they spent the night at my place , and well... we cuddled again. We didn't kiss, but we did some massive petting this time.... I don't feel bad about it. I am actually thrilled, cause I haden't been touched by a guy in almost 4 months, and needed a little petting. We didn't have sex, we didn't kiss, not even body parts. Just petted... a lot.... everywhere..... So here is what I wonder.... when do you draw the line? What is cheating? This guy is my best friend, so is this girl, if we were going to have a threesome, it would be together... So how wrong is what I did? Where does everyone think the line is? And think about situations too.... when is it okay, when is it not? laters ------------------ Life is a roller coster, throw your hands up and screw the ride!
Shayne	The line is wherever the partner of the person you were fooling around with would have a problem with it. If she wouldn't like you cuddling with her man, you've crossed the line. If she doesn't have a problem with it, you're fine. Your actual mileage may vary, but I've found this is a pretty good general rule.
Damini	I kinda agree with shayne here; its dangerous ground I think. Hell, you might have the kind of friendship that could pull through threesomes, or her catching you and her bloke playing twister with no board and no tongues, but that friendship you rave about might not come through quite the same. And to me it sounds like somthing pretty special. Yeah, it feels nice to have that comfort and closeness with someone you are already close to, but why is he doing this with you? Is your friend not enough for him? Are they having problems? Or is he just in duplicitous cake land, like a certain boyfriend of mine used to dine? Bottom line, its your friendship, you decide what boundaries there are, but I just know from my perspective, even my closest friend who I have kissed before and if I was to threesome it, it would be with her and my man, if I caught them groping out of the blue I would go spare. And be very upset. Tread careful.
Alunah	You know Damini, your right. Temptation was too great for me. The last thing I want to do is hurt her and I's friendship. I am a little jelous of her though when it comes to men. She always seems to get the hot guys, or the sweet guys, you know, the great ones. Of course she is this bodasious six foot blonde. I am 5 foot, little short spit fire. I usually scare guys off, not attract them. So the chance to pretend with her hot boyfriend for even a moment was great to me. I hope that temptation doesn't come up again though, cause even after all you guys's advice, I don't know if I could say no! ------------------ Life is a roller coster, throw your hands up and screw the ride!
cristal	key words: I am a little jealous of her, though, when it comes to men. She always seems to get the hot guys, or the sweet guys, you know, the great ones. Of course she is this bodacious six foot blonde. I am 5 foot, little short spit fire. I usually scare guys off, not attract them. So the chance to pretend with her hot boyfriend for even a moment was great to me. Think about how easy (and "great") it was to betray your friend. Yes, you show remorse, you're sorry, you're worried about your karma, but think about WHY it was so easy. You're saying this woman is your soulmate, yet you betrayed her trust and committed one of the worst crimes among girlfriends. Think about why you scare men off. I'm sure it's not because you're five feet tall. And I'm sure it's not because you're a "spit fire." This man was attracted to you, so I'm sure you're attractive enough to find your own men to pet. Again, I say consider why it was so easy for you to betray your girlfriend. Why was petting her boyfriend so much more important than your loyalty? Why is it that we women are so eager to betray our best friends? It happens all the time, across all lines of humanity. I've done it myself! And my friends have done it to me! (One girlfriend actually slept with my husband under our Christmas tree.) Can anyone shed light on why women can be such selfish sleeze monsters? Are we really that self-absorbed?? Well, i'd say, if your friend is fine with it, then it's not cheating. Cheating, I think, involves malice. Or some measure of it. And/or dishonest behavior. If you're sneaking these petting sessions behind her back, and if you think she'd be highly offended, then, you have, indeed, fucked up. If you tell her, and she's happy about it, i suppose it's a happy day for all three of you.
cristal	You can do it! Just say no. Try a little integrity in your life. It can do wonders. In fact, you'll feel much better about yourself than you do now.
Alunah	So do you guys think I should fess up to her, or, "what she doesn't know won't hurt her", and just not do it again? Cause everyone has made me feel worse for what I have done. I don't feel guilty, but I feel wrong in what we did. I prefere she doesn't know, and to just make sure he and I don't have that oppurtunity agian. It is very rare that he and I are alone. The only time I see him is when she sees him, cause he lives in another town. So.... ------------------ Life is a roller coster, throw your hands up and screw the ride!
Shayne	That's the toughest call of all, to tell or not to tell. I think over and over again it's been proven that the best friends are the ones you can be honest with about anything (yeah, anything) because it's the right thing to do, even if you know that pain and bitterness may ensue as a result. If all were well between your friend and her boyfriend, I'm guessing the two of you wouldn't have ended up in a situation where you'd be asking if you'd done anything that could be considered cheating. It's up to you, and I don't exactly know what I'd do in the same situation, but maybe in the end it's the best option. It just depends on what is the most important to you.
Alunah	So I just had a thought. Not only am I jelous of what she has, I am jelous of him too. She spends a lot of time with him, and so I don't get to see her very much, so I am a little upset about not having time with her too. Maybe subconsiously I am trying to break them up. Cause the first time it happened they had taken some drugs and I thought maybe thats why he came to me, cause she was asleep, and when we come down we all try to be together, keep eachother from crashing. So I thought maybe it was just some fluke and he needed to be around someone. I figured it was a one time thing, well, then this weekend happened and we were perfectly sober the whole weekend, so now I know it has to be something more. My worry is that he may be doing this with other girls too, and actually sleeping or something with them, like I said he lives in another town. I really don't want to think about that though. Cause there is really no way I would tell her unless he fessed up. I really think what people don't know can't hurt them. If she had done the same thing to me, personally, I wouldn't want to know about it.Knowing something like that can only hurt you, not help. And I really think he did this because we have become such good friends, not because he wants to sleep with me or cheat on her. He knows how lonely I have been latly, and I really think he was just trying to help with that, and he succeded! He made my day! ------------------ Life is a roller coster, throw your hands up and screw the ride!