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Shayne	Just when you think everything is heavenly, life intervenes and throws you a curveball. Chances are unfortunately good that my girlfriend, college-bound, will soon have to relocate... to Florida. I attend school in Virginia, making that a total distance of too goddamn far away. She's upset because she got wait-listed at the one school she really wanted to go to (in VA, close to mine) and I'm upset because of that (I'm offended that they didn't take her, she really is brilliant, in reality and on paper) and because if she has to leave, I don't know if I can handle another long-distance relationship (the last one was an unmitigated disaster). But I can't bear the thought of having to chalk this one up to "oh well, would have been cool, too bad it didn't work out." I love her and I don't want to be selfish... but I don't want to lose her. I knew this could happen but I was so sure things could work out... now I just don't know.
cristal	Have you asked her what she thinks you guys should do? Long distance can be difficult as hell, but if you care enough and keep focused on a longer-term goal (commitment?), I'd be willing to bet it could work between you two. It would take a true commitment, however, and lots of phone calls and weekend visits. I've seen it work, very well, in fact. I've also seen lots of pain from these arrangements. But I think it takes complete (or near complete) trust and conviction. She also shouldn't take the "rejection" personally. It's incredibly competitive these days! You know that. Any chance you'd relocate? But, first, you've gotta come clean and tell her all your fears. Then, chalk them up to "fear" and see if you have what it takes (devotion, loyalty, fidelity) to make this work. Missing someone is much more bearable if you commit to being together. But if you keep it up in the air, it can be agonizing. What does she say about all this? And does she know how you feel about her?
Alunah	I think cristals right, you need to talk about it first and formost. Unfortunatly I have a very bad outlook on long distance relationships. My opinion.... friendship should always come first in a relationship, not love, not sex. If you guys are true friends, my advice would be to break up the "relationship" and stay friends. See other people, be okay with letting each other go for a time... be pen pals, good pen pals. Long distance calls and weekend flights to CA are going to cost you a fortune. If it is ment to be, than you relationship will come back to you, and you'll be a better couple if it works back out someday. That's what I think. But it really depends on you guys. Talking it out and coming to a conclusion together. How much do you love her? How much does she love you? Was I any help? Hope so. Good luck! ------------------ Life is a roller coster, throw your hands up and screw the ride!
Shayne	Wanted to wait until I was slightly more rational to post back to this, I'd originally written less than an hour after getting the news and that's seldom a good idea, but I appreciate everyone letting me vent. Just to show how strange life is, in the interim there's developed a decent chance that instead of going to Florida she'll actually go to my school (she was accepted there but needs to clear up a residency issue), hopefully just for a year or a semester and then she can transfer to where she really wants to go. I fully support that because her first choice is a much better match for her than the school that I go to. This doesn't completely defuse the issue, however, and you are both very right in saying that she and I need to talk about this. I've held off on that to this point because 1) I don't want to put any influence over her choice and 2) She has enough to worry about right now without me bringing up yet another issue. She knows I really love her, and I know she loves me, but beyond committing to one another in the usual ways (i.e. we're together now and the forseeable future will coast on that) we haven't discussed the future, in the context of college or anything else. I know that has to come and I'm not too afraid of it, maybe just a little uneasy. We're both young, but she's younger, and I don't want to scare her off. I really feel we could have something that could go on for a long time - maybe the proverbial forever. Maybe not. I want to find out without making her feel like I'm pressuring her. My last long-distance relationship was an ill-advised extention of a summer fling, so I have some baggage in that area already. I would be willing to try it for her, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of ending up a year down the line with a broken heart and another chunk of my life gone the way of painful memory. I don't know what's going to happen, and I'm trying to just relax and cover what I can and let the rest go, but that's always been difficult for me. Seems like my attempt to remain coherent has failed, but thank you both for the advice, it was calming and helpful.
Terapin	Shayne, it sounds like you have a great relationship with this woman and you obviously care about her a great deal. That in itself lends well to the idea of your prospective future together. I'm glad you realize that you still need to talk to her about the future. It can be too easy to avoid that subject, as I'm sure you know. Why tempt the thought of unpleasant possibilities with talk of the future when you can just coast with the happy realities of today? You know why. Good luck. I hope things work out for the best for you.