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Yikes	Alright, I just need to vent. People will not leave me the hell alone! All of my "friends" want to fix me, and it's annoying the hell out of me. First of all, there's this guy from school. I went out on TWO dates with this guy, and it just didn't click, I told him as much, he said he wanted to be friends. We did have one small..um..indiscretion while we were dating that has made that a little awkward, but I thought everything would be cool, we'd move beyond it, etc. And things were going great, except for the fact that he wanted to talk for about 3 hrs every night, and I'm not a phone person. Anyway, one night on the phone, we got on the topic of oral sex. And it really weirded me out, because he said that if he'd known that one day was the only time he would be able to be physical with me, he wished he'd performed. Okay, I'm sorry, but I do not talk to my friends about wanting to give them head. So then, he wanted me to go out with him last weekend (just as friends, no less), and he got really pissed when I said no. Because he says one thing, then does another. So he KEEPS CALLING ME AND ASKING ME OUT. And I keep blowing him off. Then there's this other guy from school who I value very much as a friend. He has a girlfriend, and earlier this semester he told me he had a crush on me. We worked through that and ended up better friends because of it (I thought). So yesterday we went kite-flying and ended up sitting on this rock talking for about 3 hrs. It was great. THen, last night, he told me that he still has romantic feelings for me. He asked if he was wrong in inferring any hope that I felt the same way. And I told him I didn't know. Because, honestly, I don't. Because of his girlfriend, I'm not allowing myself to think that way. Later on in the conversation, I asked him what his ideal situation would be. And he said something like "well, I know you're going to say since I have a girlfriend..." And I told him to forget about that for a second and tell me what he wanted. I thought I made myself pretty clear, but apparently not. He said today on his online journal (which I can't help but think he wrote KNOWING I would read it) that he suspected I had romantic feelings for him and that I DIDN'T CARE about his girlfriend. Which is not the case at all. I have no idea how to proceed from here, because I very much value this friendship. I don't want him to break up with his girlfriend for me because I don't know if I could return his feelings, and also because I don't want him to resent me later on. Next situation. I was talking to one of my friends from highschool on AIM. He's a very, very devout Christian, to the point that he fasts for 3 days whenever he "questions his faith". I have nothing against Christians, I just don't understand that. Anyway, we were talking, and he asked me how I was. I told him I was pretty upset because of above situations plus some family health problems, school, etc. We talked for a while, and I pretty much vented my problems on him because I felt like he really cared. Okay, tonight he called my MOTHER and told her he thought I was suicidal!! WHAT THE HELL??? So I had a very interesting conversation with my mom tonight, and I can't figure out what to do next time I have to talk to this guy. Okay. There's my life right now in a nutshell. I doubt that's coherent, but I needed to vent. Anyone with any suggestions about anything...please???
Meow	Wow that sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. Take it easy or it could all turn into a huge stress ball for you without you even realizing it...or perhaps it already has since this christian friend of yours was so concerned about you. I know I would hate if one of my friends went to one of my parents with my problems, but not being the one in the situation, it looks to me like the friend really cares about you and was genuinely concerned. Although I can see how easy it would be to be annoyed or even mad with him over this, try not to be. Try to be thankful that you have such a good friend that he would risk damaging or losing his friendship with you to ensure your safety. Maybe you're not suicidal, but you must be pretty affected by everything in your life right now for him to be so concerned. Maybe you should really examine how you do feel about things and make sure things aren't affecting you as negatively as your friend suspects. Stress can creep up on us and the effects of chronic stressors aren't much fun as I'm sure everyone is aware. And make sure you thanks him for being so sincere in his caring about you, for being such a good friend. I know it's not much for advice or suggestions, but I'm worried about you having so much to deal with at once. I know I react poorly when too many things start spinning in too many different directions at once. So take care, you're lucky to have a real friend who obviously loves you, just keep blowing off the first guy cuz he'll eventually get the idea that you're not interested and I think the second guy is probably not worth your time or energy if he's twisting the situation and writing it publicly where if you read it more than likely so did his girlfriend...is he just trying to cause friction on purpose? You certainly don't need anyone in your life who is pretending to care about you only to cause you trouble.
cristal	Ha! Well, I had the complete opposite reaction to this. I think you need to call this "Christian" and tell him that you appreciate his concern, but that he needs to be more careful with the things he says. Yes, he likely was concerned for you, but without knowing if you gave him "the signals" of being suicidal, it seems he stepped over a pretty major line here. I mean, did you ever allude to anything like "life isn't worth living anymore" or "my problems are too big for me to handle. I need to kill myself" ... ? anything like that? It's a pretty big deal to be suicidal, and usually it doesn't involve trying to fix problems. Usually, it involves complete apathy and confusion. Not that I'm an expert by any means, but jeez! What was this God-fearing little boy thinking when he so blatantly violated your privacy!? As for the boy who likes to torture his female friends with talk of oral sex and guilt complexes, you are perfectly free to tell him how his actions have made you feel. You are completely entitled to say "You know, I have a life outside of yours, and I am free to do what I choose. I am not interested in dating you, and I'm not interested in a friendship with you. I'm not comfortable with spending time with you right now." Or, you could keep blowing him off. But, in my experience, only women figure out when someone is using this tactic. Men (well, many men at least) are slow to figuring out that the girl really means "no." I figure in a couple months, he'll figure out that your blowing him off means you're not interested. But, that boy sure keeps calling you, doesn't he? He's not getting the message, albeit a subtle one! The other guy from school, the one with the girlfriend, is toying with you. He's being a total jerk by pursuing you when he has a girlfriend! The last man you'd want for a boyfriend is someone who so easily pursues other women while he's in a relationship. So, if you're smart (and I think you are), you'll set him straight and say, "I am not interested in dating you." Stop letting him talk to you about the "ideal situation" and the like. Stay away from those intimate talks. If it's meant to be, it will happen. Right now, it's not meant to be, because he has a girlfriend. God, men piss me off sometimes. (so do women, but not as often.) I'm sorry these guys aren't acting like true friends. Try to look at the bright side: you must be pretty amazing if all the men around you are acting like fools.
ellybelly	crissie, you are so flipping brilliant.
Shayne	Second everything Cristal says, particularly about the guy with the girlfriend. The Christian friend, well, it's nice that he was concerned, but somewhat condescending of him to think that you can't deal with your own problems without your parents getting involved. If you had given him good reason to suspect you might, in fact, be suicidal, it'd be a different story (I wouldn't be here today if not for friends who picked up on cues like that and took them to people who cared), but since you didn't, I think he overreacted... but don't be too hard on him, his heart was in the right place. As for oral sex/friend boy, er, whatever. Keep blowing him off, a little worse each time. I really don't get guys who can't figure out when a woman isn't interested in them. I think it's because we have it drilled into our heads that women like to play "hard to get," that we expect some form of that - but there are extremes that you shouldn't have to go to. I hope you've used the words "never" and "last man on earth" a lot, if repeated, they can get the message across. Chin up, we all have our moments, and stupid people won't always come in such big flocks.
Reanna	Ok so I definitly agree with the above, but hopefully I have some helpful advise too. First I think you need to talk to Mr I can't take a hint, maybe tell him flat out I don't like you romantically and frankly every time you call I like you less and less as a friend because you are being so pushing, tell him that if he doesn't back off that there won't even be a friendship. Or maybe something a little nicer. As for the friend who is trying to play with your emotions, I have been in your shoes and what I have come to recognize is that he isn't really trying to be a jerk. maybe he really does like you and realizes that you don't have feelings for him like he has for you. Maybe he thought you were leading him on by asking questions like that. (not to say you were, but when you have crush on someone things are taken too literaly sometimes) And maybe because he thought you were leading him on without having feelings for him he thought you just wanted to get between him and his girl. As for the twit who called your parents... Yes it was nice that he cared enough about you to worry, but before he went and got your family worried too he really should have confronted you. Maybe you should talk to him about it and let him know that you disagree with what he did and tell him he should of talked to you. But I don't think that you should loose his friendship over it. After all he just cares about you. Hope I was of some help.