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T O P I C     R E V I E W
Terapin	Sheesh, I suddenly have a lot to write, don't I? Well, here is the latest bit. I was supposed to go with my boyfriend home to his parent's house this weekend, only after spending some time taking a walk and thinking this afternoon I decided not to. Lately it has been bothering me that (shoot, I don't know how to write this so I'll just be blunt) he gets way more attention than I do. We walk into a room and mutual friends rush over to clap him on the shoulder and say hi or give him a hug and ask how he's doing. We went out together last night and ran into two people we know (they weren't together). Both exclaimed over him. One never acknowledged me until I said "Bye." The other said hi the SECOND time we walked past her. It happens all the time. Granted, I am not a very outgoing person. My shyness actually inclines me to date and make friends with people who are more outgoing than I am so I feel less pressure. But these are people we've both known more than a year and I've spent time hanging out with them when he wasn't there...it's not as if they don't know me. We go to a party and immediately five people exlaim over his entrance and invite him to sit down and have a drink. Then they notice me and one says, "Oh, hey, come on over." I know it's not his fault. But the real reason I didn't go home with him is because as much as I like his family and as nice as they are, they are HIS family. I couldn't stand a whole evening of sitting quietly on the couch while they crowded around him and asked him a million questions. I feel invisible. I just needed some time away from him. Frankly, I can't wait for our Spring break. He is going to one city, I'm going to another to hang out with some old friends from high school, MY friends. I won't have to worry about standing in his shadow all the time. Anyway, my point was (the reason I am here at my computer) that I stayed home rather than going with him to get away for a bit. So I went to this party with a friend. I was there for a total of 10 minutes. 5 minutes into it I was sitting with a group of mutual friends of my boyfriend and myself AND some people I don't know, and the talk turned to....my boyfriend. Who wasn't even there. They just went on and on with the funny exploits he had showing up for class late all the time, that time he fell asleep while giving a presentation, blah, blah, blah. AAAAHHHH! It was so random that they decided to talk about him! What sort of cruel irony is this? I had to leave or I was going to either scream or start laughing hysterically. The worst part is, I think, that he is the only one here who really notices me all the time and who makes me feel like I am worth attention to. So where do I go when I need to get away from him because I feel ignored? Thats the cruel irony.
Shayne	Getting away for a bit is a good solution to many of life's problems... adding a bit of perspective often does wonders, for me anyway. So I think you probably made the smart move here on not going home with your boyfriend for break. I hope taking some time off straightens some things out. As for feeling isolated among all of his friends, I had the same problem with an earlier girlfriend. She knew everyone and everyone knew and loved her, and I was sort of just attached to her. I'm usually not one to show when something is bothering me (especially in public) so I just sort of stood there and tried to let it roll off me. After a while I brought up how minimized it made me feel and my girlfriend was of the attitude, "Well, what can I do about it, my friends are my friends... get some of your own, and then it'll be my turn to be isolated." Well, that wasn't good enough, and it became a factor in why the relationship ended, but, so what? My point is this. Feeling like no one's paying attention to you is one of the worst feelings out there, and the best way to get around it is to act like you deserve to be noticed. Those who ignore you should be pitied for what they're missing, not considered authorities. Don't let coincidences like what happened at the party rattle you too much, the world is much bigger than it can seem sometimes.