posted 04-23-2001 08:13 AM            

there may be something behind this, of course ... that you feel that because you and your boyfriend broke up, you needed positive male attention to reaffirm your desirability. nothing wrong with that, but showing your breasts as a dare can't really appease that need, unless you actually get the tacos. (It would seem your asking for the tacos in advance was the key flaw in your plan.)

i must say that showing your breasts for tacos doesn't necessarily qualify for prostitute status either. (Think about mardi gras, and all the naked breasts exchanged for cheap plastic beads.) i think it may qualify you for spirited, madcap, insecure, silly, or embryonic ... but not paid for sex.

posted 04-23-2001 12:12 PM            

I take it back. You weren't acting like idiots. You were acting intelligently and safely. In fact, when you were "acting like a hooker" (your words, my dear), you were definitely not an idiot. You're right. My mistake.

I also didn't call you "insecure," did Ii? Nope. I said "it may qualify you for insecure." Only you can answer that question, yes? Are you insecure? I don't know because I don't know you. But your behavior MAY qualify for it. You disagree with that, obviously. You are secure. I'm glad to hear it.

So, i sorry you feel i called you mean names. I didn't. I've obviously written something that offends you, so for this, I apologize.

definitely,
definitely,
definitely!

posted 04-23-2001 10:32 PM            

Huh. Well, let me introduce myself. I am Miss Calls it like I sees it babe.

You demeaned yourself. What a ridiculous thing to do. It's one thing to do something that you can laugh it off and be confident that you are being wild and outrageous because you want to be and know what you're doing but sweetheart, you walked up to total strangers and offered to show them your naked body for....tacos.

Come on.

Look, clearly you are young and silly and you can take all the offense at that you want to, I don't care. I was younger and sillier once myself. And this is what I figured out. It ain't rocket science.

Don't. Do. Things. That. Make. You. Feel. Like. Dogmeat.

And if you do do something idiotic (yes, idiotic -- what if those strange men had decided you were easy, had followed you home? Huh? What if you flash your tits at the wrong psycho killer one night? Grow up, little girl. Don't invite either trouble or humiliation.) don't blame anyone else for your choices.

I never understood the truth or dare game. You could dare me to blow up the empire state building or eat a bug, I wouldn't do it because I don't want to and it's just not that easy to manipulate me. How easy is it to manipulate you?

I dare you to eat a bug.

And if you don't like the posting heat, my love, stay out of the bitterslut kitchen. I am with Cristal 100% -- in fact, she said it much more gently than I would have. She had nothing to apologise for.

posted 04-24-2001 07:06 AM            

I'm a little bemused by all the vitriol that this has aroused. Speaking strictly for myself, if people want to go around and display various sensitive parts of their private anatomy in exchange for Mexican food, I really don't care all that much. I think it's kind of stupid - actually, I think it's really stupid - but I'm certainly not going to lobby my congressman to pass a law against it or anything. The bottom line is, you're only demeaning yourself if YOU actually feel like "dogmeat" after you do it. You say, Reanna, "...I feel like I was being a hooker." Oops! That means you crossed a line somewhere, that fine line that separates silly, flirty fun from sordid gutter-feeding trashiness. It doesn't matter what the guys thought, it doesn't matter what your friends thought, it matters what YOU thought, and you thought you were demeaning yourself, if I understand what you say correctly.

posted 04-24-2001 08:31 AM            

Like Shayne said, it only matters what YOU think. Granted, by posting about it here, you're opening yourself up for some criticism. BUT JEEZ!! Sorry Ellybelly, but I think you're quite off base on this one. Reanna, YES what you did was very dangerous. YES what you did could be seen as demeaning (but this goes back to the "how do you feel about it?" question). But I hardly think ANY of this is worth name calling!!! I took offense at Ellybelly's attack, and it's not even me she's talking about! And I know the whole "older and wiser" argument is imminent, but what I've learned in my measley 19 years is that there is absolutely no point in forcing your opinion on people you cannot possibly understand. It shows more maturity to provide objective advice in a CONSTRUCTIVE way, rather than resort to name calling and mean-spiritedness. YES, Ellybelly had some valid points about the danger issue. I urge you to consider that next time, but I also urge you not to let people you know only via a computer make you feel like a trashy person.

posted 04-24-2001 08:45 AM            

Forget the tacos, baby!

Let's all go get some Chinese food! Let's bond over some sesame chicken and egg rolls.

And make sure we don't learn anything about ourselves in the process. This truth stuff is just too hard, ain't it? Frankly, I'd rather wallow in ignorance, never learning a damn thing about my bad behavior.

Yes, and I agree. Ellybelly called Reanna some pretty mean and horrible names. Here's the list:

- Babe
- Sweetheart
- Little girl
- My love

I mean, c'mon.

Oh, and I've flashed my boobs plenty of times. (They happen to be exquisite boobs.) I will also be the first to admit that I was acting like an idiot. I still do stupid things, but part of growing up (is that also known as reaching maturity?) is facing your stupid mistakes and saying, "Wow, that was stupid! maybe I shouldn't do things like that anymore!" Another part of growing up is being strong and smart enough to take criticism, especially when you ask for it.
Maybe i'm wrong, but i doubt it.

have a nice day, everyone!

Shayne: "vitriol"? Dude. I gotta write that down and use it sometime. Great word.

Reanna: hope you're feelin' better.

posted 04-24-2001 09:42 AM            

My but we have some sensitive souls on Bitterslut today...

For the record, I didn't attack anyone and I suggest those of you who were offended go back and read my post.

In fact, I am kind of offended that anyone would consider my offering my opinion as an attack. Except I'm not, because I can't be offended by words on a screen written by strangers.

Let me offer, now, a little perspective.

When I was much younger (say, 19 or so) I was the wildest, craziest, stupidest little girl you ever laid eyes on. I did things that make lifting your shirt for tacos look like a good idea.

And doing them, invariably, made me feel sick with shame. I understand Reanna's plight far, far better, I think, than most of you on this forum ever will. Cause I was Reanna, times ten.

I advised Reana not to do things that made her feel the way she described feeling in her post, people. Because that's a terrible way to feel.

It's very, very simple. If being called a whore bothers you, don't invite it. Reana didn't axe murder anyone, and no one implied that she did. But she complained that she was feeling pretty awful and didn't seem to see the connection between her actions and her emotional state.

The response she got weren't helpful to her, in my humble opinion. As a matter of fact, they are what psychologists call "enabling."
Little pats on the head, poor yous.

If Reanna only wanted sympathy and not an actual dialogue, she should have said so.

But, for the future and for as long as I'm posting to this site, unless you specifically let me know you don't want to hear what I think, I'm going to tell you.

People, these are words, they aren't bombs. Last time I checked, at least.

posted 04-24-2001 10:12 AM            

...well, i have to differ with you (somewhat) on this one, Yikes. Sometimes, there is a point to using your wisdom to try and make someone feel like shit (now, i'm assuming your term "feel like shit" means "feel ashamed" or "feel responsible for one's mistakes").

i have to say, up until i was about 26, i hated it when my older friends said, "oh, you just wait until your my age. You'll understand." Or when they gave me advice I didn't want to hear. It's only now that I look back and realize how right they were. It's too bad I failed to listen to them. It would have saved me lots of pain and shame.

Unfortunately, I think it may be in our blood to tell younger folks about the lessons we've learned. It comes with being protective of others. Miss Belly was probably trying to inspire Reanna to really examine her behavior and learn from it. Don't do things that make you feel like dogmeat. You can walk a thousand miles across the country and you won't find that kind of truth. It just isn't out there! Television certainly isn't infusing that into young people. (Have you watched MTV lately? holy shit!) Young people are now sexualized as soon as they turn on their televisions. Good job, everyone.

We learn from our experiences. We learn from our stupid mistakes. If we CHOOSE to, that is. I'm not saying Reanna or anyone else is going to find the golden eye of truth (is there such a thing?) on Bitterslut! But, hearing the truth (no matter how bitter or painfully true) from a perfect stranger has its benefits. I don't know her, and I probably never will. She can take what she wants (or ignore it) and leave it at that. I've been called much worse on this site! And, in fact, I think some of us here have called others much worse!

I say, tell it like it is. If you can't hear the truth, how will you grow? There are some nice, sugar-coated ways to tell people things, but you know, I think Reanna set the stage for the tone. In fact, from the tone in her post, I really thought she'd be cool with what I said, but she wasn't. (I attribute this to the breakup. I've been there. Don't even look at me cross-eyed if I've broken up with someone!)

Here's anicer way: Reanna, it's OK that you considered showing your breasts to strangers in exchange for Mexican food, because we all do silly things in our lives. But from my experience, it's best not to do things that make you feel badly about yourself. Try to remember this the next time someone dares you to do something you're not comfortable with.

bla bla bla. God. You'd think I was laid off yesterday.

posted 04-24-2001 11:44 AM            

Don't let some retarded guys make you feel like crap. There is nothing wrong with showing off tour tata's!!!!
TaTas are Gods gift to woman, and we should wear them proud and loud!!
You know me, I'll flash my boobs just about anywhere. They are boobs for gods sake, it's not like we are flashing an ugly penis around.(no offense Shayne) They are beautiful glorious Tatas!!
If I had my way, we'd be walkin around topless in the summer time, but for some ungodly reason boobs are somehow sinful and we shouldn't show them off! Could that be because people think of sex when they see them! GASP!
They are still just boobs, you feed a baby with them for crying out loud!

Just don't let those idiots bring you down, someday a guy will buy you tacos, for not flashing a damn thing, or maybe he'll think your tatas are so grand he'll buy you a whole taco shop! :> )

But hey, listen to Shayne, smart guy.... If it bothered you and made you fell like crap, don't do it again, but don't dwell on it Dude! You'll only feel like crap if you let yourself!

Remeber, they're your Tatas!! Be proud of the vessel bestowed on you!!

Love you hon!
A

posted 04-24-2001 01:00 PM            

Here's my honest deal - I have grown up so much this last semester. I've finally realized what I can and can't handle, etc. etc. And I didn't come to this realization by listening to the advice of others, I came to it by making absolutely stupidly horrible decisions and learning from the consequences. It would be so nice if we could learn everything about life from what other people tell us. Telling Reanna she's an idiot (while it may or may not be true) is probably not going to positively influence her. From my experience, whenever I got that didactic "I'm older so I must know more than you" advice from people, that made me NOT want to take it more than ever. Call it a pet peeve.

My point, stated in a less provocative way: Reanna, what you did was not the smartest thing in the world - there are nasty, sick, messed up people in the world who won't think twice before taking advantage of a "tipsy" girl who is willing to show her tits for tacos. But I wouldn't let it get you down - you did it, it made you feel like a whore...seems to me you learned your lesson. No tatas for tacos. You aren't an idiot or a whore for doing it - EVERYONE does stupid stuff like that!! The important thing is that you learn from it.

And Ellybelly, I'm sorry, but I found your condescending tone toward Reanna offensive. Like I said, I have a pet peeve. You have every right to post your opinion about anything. And we all have the right to disagree with you. And we have the right to bicker back and forth forever and ever, ad nauseum if we want to. Personally, I don't want to.

Alunah...the world is not ready for naked tatas.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

posted 04-24-2001 01:54 PM            

jeez! when are we gonna clear that up? !

no one called Reanna an idiot!!

i'm glad you learned a lot, Yikes. The best lessons come from our own mistakes (see my post - and Rev. Love's posts for the past year). Getting advice from others rarely works. But, like i said, it's hard not to give advice when you've made those same mistakes yourself. It's that protective thing.

we've definatly...no, defenetly, no, wait... definitely, completely covered this topic.

love you all, madly, in fact.

posted 04-24-2001 01:59 PM            

Good points there woman!
Just cause you are older reaslly doesn't mean you have the answers. Though you should try to share the wisdom you think you have.

I really wish the world was ready for naked Tatas!! I am not really a lesbian, but Tatas are so beautiful, I wish we could share them with the world!! :> )

If you want Reanna, we'll go flash our Tatas and get a whole damn pizza!!! We got it goin on girl!

As for the condescending tones of some posters.... keep in mind how those words would sound to you if spoken from someone else.

Love you guys!
A

posted 04-24-2001 02:47 PM            

Uh, I mean...

GOOD LORD! I think we all need to realize that people can get offended by words just as readily as anything else, and berating people for being offended is kind of pointless, particularly if you were the one who said something that offended them.

As for learning through mistakes, yeah, a pretty simple but universal point there. Caveman puts head through hole. Caveman gets head whacked with rock. Caveman doesn't look in holes anymore. Such is life. Maybe if the caveman had had an older caveman friend who knew about the rock-whacking tendencies of the hole in question, he could have warned him off. For my money, you don't have to TAKE someone's advice, but if they care enough to offer it, you owe it to yourself to at least listen.

posted 04-24-2001 07:19 PM            

As I have stated, and as Cristal has stated, numerous times, NO ONE CALLED REANA AN IDIOT.

One more time, gang: NO ONE CALLED REANA AN IDIOT.

She said she "demeaned" herself, I agreed. I said it was a dumb thing to do, which doesn't make her dumb.

I said she was a silly little girl, which ain't exactly a kick in the teeth now is it?

Please.

Cristal, I know we were this sensitive when we were pups, weren't we?

posted 04-24-2001 08:38 PM            

I have to admit, elly...your condescending older and wiser bit is just a might tad annoying. But ALL of you are acting like immature idiots (and just because you're acting like idiots doesn't mean you ARE idiots) by keeping this damn thing going!

posted 04-25-2001 08:16 AM            

leave me alone. i'm bathing.

posted 04-25-2001 09:02 AM            

Yep.

posted 04-26-2001 10:53 AM            

perhaps you need to explore why you care so much about what we do?

posted 04-26-2001 06:16 PM            

i think you're lying.

are you lying, little Grrr person?