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Forum: bitterchat
Topic: And again.

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Message to Edit: HTML is OFF UBB Code is ON Smilies Legend	Originally posted by Juniper on 03-05-2001 04:57 PM Thanks ladies, for all the words of wisdom. I knew I could count on this forum! I have taken these two days away from him to really stop and think about things. Shortly after posting here, he called me from his brother's house to let me know he was sorry for leaving on a bad note (is there any other way in that kind of situation?). He told me again he loves me and just thinks a time away from each other could be healthy, and this doesn't mean we're in trouble. I told him we would always be in trouble unless he learned to get a tighter reign on his temper. This initiated another argument, which petered out with him apologizing again and telling me how hard he would try. Still, he's at his brothers, and not with me. I gave up and I told him to stay a couple of nights and really use this time to reflect, as much for his sake as for my own. That in itself is a step for me - I'm the kind of person that absolutely positively MUST have closure - no matter what the outcome - to be able to sleep at night. However, upon reflecting on all the relationships I have either been in or suffered through, I keep drawing the same conclusions. I DO love him, I DO want to be with him, I DO want to work something out. But I can't when I keep compromise myself. cristal - You are probably hitting the nail on the head when you recommend counselling. Problem? He won't go. period. I want to believe this is just a phaze. I left out a part, and I'm sorry - it's just still difficult for me to talk about. .. I lost our baby when I was three months pregnant about a month ago. Since then, his temper has got out of hand. This is when most of the real problems started. He was absolutely wonderful to me during that time, but was completely guilt-wracked, thinking for whatever his reason was that he should have seen it coming. (He's a med-student). I told him that was ridiculous, obviously, as there was no possible way he could have known. However, it has put a large strain on us. Again, I never told my friends. My boyfriend and I were keeping it a secret from everyone until we told the family, which never happened. Then I just never told them at all.. Which may or may not have been a blessing. I don't think I could handle any pity when I'm having enough of a time dealing with it myself. Why the hell am I so closed to talking about this stuff from everyone? Here's the question...... When will it stop? The guilt, the fighting...? Arghhh!!!! I wish I knew the answers ;(
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